December 1st. Wow! Where has the year gone. I can't believe we are coming to the end of 2008. It has been a difficult one, with many challenges. I felt lost in the muddle of it all at one point but my son, my dad and my beloved helped me through and I feel stronger for it.
Tonight my woodburner is lit and I am catching up with friends . The washing machine is humming and all feels calm and tranquil. I am blessed with a roof over my head and love in my heart. The fire of life is burning well.

I am in the mad throws of decluttering. It's easy to pretend I don't have much stuff. I am moving house next year and setting up home with my beloved so it important to me to chuck out the old and invite in the new. Yesterday was a box of papers from 6 years ago, some of it quite painful to deal with as it evoked a lot of memories. I see this time as positive before my move and sometimes these thing need time to digest, so I grateful I am not having to rush. The local hospice shop is doing well from me too.

It's been a busy week. We have had our first Home Education inspection and it went really well. The Inspector was very impressed with The Goblin and so was I. I am so glad I made the move to teach him at home. I have valued the time we have had together and to learn together. We have both come so far on this journey.

I am a bit behind with the blogging. We had a wonderful few days last week at a family wedding in Devon. The drive down was beautiful and it seemed a million miles away from south east London/Kent. It always shocks me how many people live in such a small space, we seem so hemmed in here. Traffic, noise, pollution, it's constant. The pace of life in the South West really did seem slower. Sadly we are not in a position to move too far at the moment, but hopefully by this time next year we will be in a slightly more rural location with a bigger garden. It's easy to be drawn in to the pace of life in the south east. When I go to London at the weekends for my aromatherapy course I am part of that hustle and bustle myself, I am no better than anyone else. I run for the tube and train with all the pushing and shoving to get a seat or just a spot to stand and I hate it. It's a million miles from home and a billion miles from Devon. I can only live my more authentic life here and learn to be content with my lot at the moment.

A birthday apron

I am very pleased with this apron. It is a birthday present for my partners' daughter. It took a couple of days. The embroidery was the easiest part, although I didn't have the calico straight so it didn't fray evenly. It's reversable with calico too. I plan to do the whole family aprons now!

The sun is trying to peep through this morning and the winds have died down. It is quite peaceful up here on the hill, with a few cars going down. My next door neighbour has just taken her son off to school. She is one of the few mums around here who walks the 10 minute journey, although I am sure with petrol prices going the way they are, many more will have to. When my son was in school we always walked and many times we were late as we stopped to look at things along the way. It gave him some breathing space at the beginning and end of his day and time for us to just 'be'. I love to see families walking with their children, we can learn so much as adults from our childrens questions and from the way they see the world too.

These are the first three blocks of my 'Quilt a long' group with the Creative Living Forum. I have always wanted to make a proper quilt. I did a throw with random squares years ago but never backed or quilted it. With this idea you do a new block every week, 12 in total. I am a bit behind with the others, but am loving it.

We had a lovely afternoon at the cricket yesterday. It was the Twenty20 cup, with Kent and Hampshire, Kent won !!! On this particular event you are not allowed to take alcohol into the grounds. This isn't a problem for me as I am driving, but I bought my dad a pint of local beer at £3.10. This apparently is an ok price judging by the amount of drinking going on. The people next to me commented that at a Radio1 concert last month, water was £3.50 a bottle and a pint of beer was £5. Food from the outlets was selling well, with chips at £2 and burgers at £3.50. I am always amazed at the amount of money people can throw away. It just needs a bit of preparation and practice to take sandwiches and drinks and all the containers can be reused instead of mindlessly chucked into the rubbish bin.
Today I have made jam with a kilo of Kentish strawberries. It is something I need practice with as I am still unsure when it is set. It looks good at the moment and house smells wonderful as I have bread baking too. We picked our first baby spinach leaves for a salad yesterday and they were great.

The last 2 days have been spent at home. It is a wonderful change from the running around at the weekend, when I was in London doing my course. I love being a home maker, I love the sense of achievement when we sit down to a meal or more simply than that, share a cup of tea and a biscuit. It is the pleasure in the small things that make life so worthwhile. Last night it was catching the moon out of the corner of my eye that brought about such a feeling of joy. The house is quiet, the Goblin is reading, the dog is asleep and the birds are singing in the garden. Occasionally I hear a sheep or a pheasant in the field behind us or a car going down the hill. I can compare this to a mile away in the centre of town where we have a homogenized shopping centre. It is always busy, full of stressed out looking people. They seem to be searching for something, but they don't know what. We are told that 'we are worth it', that spending money on wants will make us feel better. But I, and many of my friends know, that that is not real life. It's a thin veneer of existence. Home, here right now, is where real life is. With the bread freshly baked and the washing blowing on the line. This is where I belong.

Ponderings

The photo at the top of my blog is me in my new car, Merlin. It is quite significant as I only passed my driving test 2 years ago. My ex husband was a bit of a bully and forbade me to drive. For a few years after our divorce I didn't have the confidence to try, I imagined it was something other people could do, not me. Then I decided to bite the bullet and go for it with an intensive course over 3 days with my test at the end of the third day. I PASSED! When I met my gorgeous boyfriend (GB) last year he was in the process of moving house. I knew I had to conquer my next fear of motorway driving otherwise getting to his house 40 miles away would be a nightmare. Well, a year ago on sunday GB moved and I drove on the motorway on my own to help him. I traded in my banger last month and bought my little Renault Clio. I am proud of the fact that I did it all on my own. It was nerve racking walking into a car showroom and negotiating a car sale, but when I saw the car with the numberplate WZD I knew I had made the right choice.
I am such a different person from the sad, lonely and unconfident person I was when my marriage ended. The photo of me in Merlin reminds me of how far I have come.

Greeting from Suburbia

I started the morning with my motivation having returned, thank goodness. Lots of chores to do today and some baking for our cricket picnic tomorrow. The sun is trying to break through the clouds now, so my washing will get dry outside. I don't have a tumble drier now, just a wooden clothes horse and my wonky clothes line.